Bridges Of Scars

My math was off. By four.

I posted a couple weeks ago how I felt like I was 21 again. But as of today I am back to 17 year old me in high school. Back when weighing in the 180’s was the norm. For the first time since high school, I dropped back into the 180’s!

Measuring weight is one thing, and I am floored I accomplished this.

But the change in my energy and emotional well-being is the highlight. My energy level is off the charts right now. My ability to focus. My creative energy. It’s all here again.

Maybe it’s here again. I mean, it’s been so long I may have forgot what it was like to feel healthy. Or maybe the feeling is more of a rewarding sense because there was much to overcome, in contrast to 17 year old Dave just living off being young and athletic and indestructible.

See me in the before shot from 2013? I can’t see me. I provide this not as a before picture but as an in-the-middle-of picture.

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2013

Back then I was very aware I was not myself. I know a statement like that would be totally different if I had been heavy my whole life, but I hadn’t been. I had a past version of me to reflect on, a goal to get back to. My prior youthful athletic self was enough of a sample size to know I wasn’t myself.

I am closer to me right now. I want to live fully into the person Jesus wants me to be, the person He made regardless of my situation. He redeems everything. He leaves nothing to waste. He’ll even take dark seasons and turn them into the very best light.

I’m convinced telling my story so others can realize they are not alone in their pain is exactly how Jesus will be using my out of control weight years.

I’ll build bridges made of my scars to you.

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2017

But until then all of our scars will still remain, but we’ve learned that if we’ll
Open the wounds and share them then soon they start to heal,
And as long as we live, every scar is a bridge to someone’s broken heart
And there’s no greater love, than that one shed his blood for his friends.” – Thrice, For Miles

 

Finally, Three Years Later

Late May 2014, I intended the picture on the left to be a before picture. I definitely was reaching my fed-up moment and wanted to add some accountability, so I shared it with some friends. And I told them in 4 months, on my birthday, I’ll take an after picture of my progress. Well, 4 months later, I hadn’t lost any weight.

Today, 3 years later, I decided to follow up on that May 2014 commitment by taking the after picture I always intended. It’s not a ‘finished’ picture. It represents what I have accomplished in only a year and a half of actually following through with my commitment. It portrays a lasting change in lifestyle.

Even if it takes 3 years instead of 4 months, keep going.
If it takes another year and a half to get started, get started.

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May 2014
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May 2017

Below 200 – Press On

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Wash away what they thought of you, and press on, press on” – Underoath

I did it. But ‘it’ wasn’t even a goal. Just this past weekend I dropped below 200lbs for the first time since I was a freshman in college. And it wasn’t a goal. Let me explain.

When I finally said enough is enough and began to choose life, began to choose health, began to choose freedom, I set an incredibly fantastic goal. Last January I was inspired to clearly define my goals for the year and put something measurable to them as a way to keep track. I laughed to (perhaps at?) myself when I wrote down for my commitment to working out “Get to 215lbs.” That was outrageous. It was early January and I was 265, and I was saying lose 50lbs. Really, 215 just sounded nice at the time. It sounded manageable, something I could live with being at.

17240075_10154898191255428_233334846132695010_oThe picture of me at the end of February last year is someone who had something to smile about. I had already lost 25lbs since writing down my goal! A major confidence boost for sure. Those were new jeans and a new shirt because baggy jeans are not a thing anymore I guess. I was about to head to Florida and be the best man in my friend’s wedding. Things were looking good.

But here is the thing. When I got to 215 later on in the year, it was hitting a goal, but it was now cemented as a lifestyle. I found myself pressing on further. I found myself pressing on when things were going wrong all around me. I pressed on when a lot of other things have changed in my life. I kept going.

17192360_10154898191635428_8688502642195661125_oI was pretty happy last February. I realized I could change and start moving towards being unstuck. But the lesson is clear: keep moving, and keep moving after that. Goals are not only meant to be broken but smashed. You have to take your small victories and celebrate them when they happen and then wake up the next morning onward towards the next challenge.

I really never thought I would see a “1” in the hundreds column again on the scale. I actually panicked a second because I saw the “99” and thought I was at 299 somehow.

 

I’m pressing on, “‘cause my feet have the scars to show.

Curing The Familiar

Why do we wander towards different places,
Looking to cure familiarity by creating new sets of same-old?
Can we dig deep into the present, the current,
Enough to satisfy the wayward heart?
I believe we can look into the eyes of others
In different places which stir us,
And we can find not only what we want to change
But how we can rest within everything we already have.

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Tear Your Hearts Instead

Because you haven’t died yet
You can’t be swept into life,
You’ll always find that one lie,
That one distorted truth you value.
Take in the last of winter
Let it crush you and overwhelm you,
Spring will then be spring,
Not just a shift in the weather.
Passing through a night means
You are still moving,
So “Don’t tear your clothing in your grief,
But tear your hearts instead.

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