Why did I awake from my coma
In time to feel my greatest pain?
How pathetic to wish back slumber.
The pain shall preach how alive I am.
I know you’ll wake up inside your mind
In order to discover the visions were true
And never had places to set themselves into
The dusted covered up screaming face
Of lost passions justified by pursuits
Entangled in the next best thing
The way things are not suppose to be
But in the ways other’s desires burn intently,
Forgive my lack of self care
It was never a duration of time I wanted
While sifting through debris piles
Justified by covering up a true person,
As I provide you papers which are built
Inside a system of discarding without learning,
As I want you to not want any of this,
I maintain these words are desperately crafted.
There is no way anything can speak volumes
About an entire life, my life, your life
Those who we never care for or choose to see
If there was never a rounding to the closest soul,
I’ll check the math again and skip over mistakes
I maintain in order to never see stark pasts
Inside multiple light sources shouting down
Shallow intimacy with a person no one knows
Why provide documentation stating
Zero passions built on top of decaying foundations
With lyrical rhythmic bullet points filling space
To get you faster to no where I would ever go,
Approaching the slumbering forgetful mind
Not paying attention to everyone Abba keeps putting
On beaten down walking paths I can’t find on a map
But which tread painful impressions at sacred destinations.
It really is a nightmare.
It goes away when awake.
It can do no harm.
So why are there cuts
Down to the bone?
Fields of old birth new memories,
A place where freedom reigns,
The sun dictating when the game ends,
A warmth lingering within you for millennia.
The paradox is sinking in,
As you find yourself more alive than ever before,
You also find terrifying depths coming into view.
You stand on the shore,
Or is it the bottom of the sea?
Did you capsize into full life?
George MacDonald, from C.S. Lewis’ book of select MacDonald quotes: