What utter horror are some of the areas in our head we allow ourselves to travel to. We can travel towards them for a while. But even a mere moment may be too long.
The problem is these areas of despair will continue to call for attention once fed. It’s the duration and distances we allow ourselves to stay there which will do all the harm.
For me, it seems like I even go a step further and find a pickaxe to help dig deeper down into the spaces of negativity. Assisting this doesn’t help at all.
We need to rush towards the narratives which lift us up. Which tell us our true value. It comes from outside of us often enough we mistake these affirmations as not us because it comes from someone else.
While I’m busy digging away with my pickaxe someone usually comes along and pays me a compliment. And I’m stubborn enough to tell them thanks but I’m kinda busy digging further into all my failings at the moment.
Embrace these affirmations. Take hold of the slightest one. Grab what you brush off as something you do naturally and could do in your sleep.
The compliment is not a waste at all. It is someone outside yourself telling you how valuable you are.
Rush towards those spaces of praise and travel those distances to get there and build them up. Collect them and store them and reflect on them.
So when the despair comes, which it comes, we can hold fast to hope in the new creation we are becoming. The creation constantly redeemed.
If you can come to a point where you are humbled enough to know things aren’t working the way they should be then there is an incredible opportunity at hand. The moment is right there for a major pivot point in your life.
Awareness is something which begs to be acted upon. I become aware of the situation I am in and know it is not what I want, I know it is not what I need, I know it is not where I am suppose to be at at all.
This is exactly the ripe moment. This realization is the catalyst for change.
It doesn’t have to be acted upon right now. Because if it’s strong enough of a realization it will stay with you for a while. It will prod your mind and heart for however long it takes for the next part to kick in.
This part is the action. To do something about it. And it can be the smallest change or alteration to what you need to accomplish. I mean the smallest. But you got to find yourself acting upon it.
But first and foremost it truly is this moment of realization. Coming to grips with change is tough because of the humbling aspect of it. I really think it’s the main, if not only hurdle.
I find the hardest part of change is arriving at the realization I have to change, and then doing something about it.
Once I accept I don’t have much right, the act of changing isn’t challenging. The work can get started finally. The work is actually the exciting part.
You want me to be something
Other than the disaster I am
With none of the side effects of
Losing regrets I’ll never see completed.
There is a constant sense of
Moving along without self inflicted burdens,
Yet born out of terrors are the exact
Words we all desire of me.
So come, rescue what’s left if you want,
But please, for the sake of
Sacredness within all we see and feel,
Rescue everything, take the depths too.
No wonder I goofed up everything.
I never wanted those things in the first place.
I never desired those things, not even during my youth.
I desired Abba, I desired His love.
Behold, another paradox
Emerged out of the depths:
“When you were dead,
You were in possession of all the
Tools to enhance life.
Now that you are alive,
You possess nothing at all,
Except life, life abundant.”
I only want to see the most beautiful of days,
The childhood days of gifting and caring,
Releasing an inner expression of creativity within me
As a gift in every interaction with every Imago Dei.
Everything was suppressed within predictable
False promises, of which, now, leave a rot.
Where the decay takes its strongest grip
Is exactly where freedom once reigned supreme.
These were days with no measurable form,
A time with no time and no reason for categorization,
For the moments within each glowing inspiration
Sustained me with continuous arrivals of affirmations.
I only want to see the most beautiful of days.
They are no longer days, they never were.
They are the clearest embraces of encouragement
Whispering softly to become childlike again.
And the changing of pasts for futures occurred
The tighter you held onto the present,
Your grip calloused and confused with
Distorting memories filling up your hands.
Forward motion begins to root itself today,
As opposed to the allure of busy reflection,
Utilizing points of interest along a map
Screaming where to go, not where you’ve been.
As it becomes harder to hold on for hope
The clearest passage of time reveals a destination.
Home beckoned the future which is already here,
A Home you neglected, but a Home waiting for you.
Are you babbling on about
Or are you getting on with
The moment you are in is taken
Away as you limp towards
Your next justifying mission,
Ignoring the pains which have hollowed your heart.
There’s no need to fashion terrors to your chest,
Holding inside yourself a beaten down breath,
A grip wrought with the deceiving version of fear,
Forgetting the Person to heave all your burdens upon.
Who would ever accept things within silence?
Why do we accept those who have nothing to offer?
Can anyone offer anything other than Who They Are?
Can we sit silently-accepted, having already affirmed ourselves?